As someone who was more an agnostic theist, I found the concept of surrender baffling. What does it even mean? How does it work? What I have come to experience in recovery is that Surrender is the key to gaining progressive victory over Lust and other character defects that we have.
I was inspired to write this today because I woke up early this morning with some demonic dreams. Prior to my recovery its almost silly but when I would have demonic dreams there was no was that I could fall back asleep. I was also paralyzed by fear. I had no way to combat them. I was screwed. It’s funny how I had no belief in God, yet I fully believed in the demonic. Talk about a recipe for disaster. Anyway, this morning I was very disturbed by this dream and caught off guard. With God and surrender I don’t have to stay in that place of fear for very long.
I surrendered to God my dreams and my fears this morning. I also added on some prayers and asked for some intercession from a few saints. (More prayer always seems to be better when you have demonic thoughts at 4am) But as I surrendered, I could almost feel some energy flowing through my body, it was peaceful. God fighting the battle for me.
When it comes to Lust, I have used those 3 steps so many times to surrender it to God and have him fight that battle. Early on in recovery it was almost easy to surrender to him because I knew there was no way that I could fight that on my own. But as I have grown in recovery, I know find myself trying to fight it on my own at times only to be frustrated. Since I think that being a few more years sober means I can do this alone at times. I do eventually remember to surrender and it’s amazing but it works!
Here are some ways to mentally surrender:
In 12-step groups, surrender is practiced through Steps 1, 2, and 3:
Step 1: Admit powerlessness.
Acknowledge that you are powerless over things like lust, resentment, control, perfectionism, or other struggles. Admitting powerlessness means recognizing that you cannot overcome this on your own. You do not have control over these forces and need help to return to a healthy, balanced state of mind.
Step 2: Believe that God can restore you.
Turn to God and ask to be restored to sanity—to clear thinking and emotional balance. Recognize that you cannot fix this by yourself and that God can help you overcome what you are facing. This might sound like:
“God, please restore me to clear thinking. Help me not be overwhelmed by these thoughts. Remove these lustful thoughts. Take away my resentment toward my mother.”
Step 3: Surrender it to God.
Make a decision to turn your struggle over to God. Say, “God, I surrender my lust, my resentment, my need for control to You. Do with it what You will.”
Surrender means neither fighting the battle alone nor giving in to it. Instead, you release it and trust God to handle it.
Surrender may not feel effective immediately. Sometimes these three steps need to be repeated. But practiced consistently, they work.
Few other tips and thoughts that I have used to surrender over the years. Early on in my recovery, I read a book called every mans battle. They had some good imagery in there about surrendering. I’m not going to explain it as well as they do in the book but bear with me. They talk about your mind having all these lustful thoughts cooped up in a stable (area for them to run around in that’s fenced off) like they are horses running wild in this stable of your mind. Step 1 is realizing that you can’t control that horse (admitting powerlessness). Step 2 is then opening the gate to release it to God. Step 3 was allowing that horse to run free into the wild and allow your creator to capture it. That worked well for me when I would see a lustful image or think of a moment in time when I was acting out prior to recovery. Opening that stable was me releasing that thought to God (surrender) and letting him tame that wild horse.
Giving it to Jesus-
My wife was very helpful with this one. Opposite of the stable analogy but works just the same. When a thought would come to my mind that I am struggling with, I think of grabbing that thought and tucking it in a box and then handing it off to Jesus. Me saying I can’t fight this, God please take this box and dispose of it for me.
For Catholics (and anyone needing help!)-
Ask St Raphael to pray for you.
Surrender is an unfathomable concept prior to recover. Because at least prior to recovery even though I was broken and weak, I couldn’t admit that. There was also an element of not wanting to admit that I couldn’t do everything. Maybe that’s how it is when you don’t have God in your life. You are powerless but you can’t admit it. You get angry and frustrated over things which you have no control over. In recovery you still get frustrated by things, but now you have a solution, (surrender) to get out of that rut. The old solution (acting out) was only a temporary one and didn’t solve the problem. Surrender does.