Why is it so hard to appreciate what I’ve been given? Why do I find it difficult to live in the moment? How can I genuinely appreciate and be thankful for gifts or nice things that are done for me? It’s almost if I have this expectation that people will do things for me.
I tend to take things for granted or become accustomed to things working out a certain way. I don’t appreciate the ability to be able to breathe until I experience a cold that clogs up my nasal passages for a week. Same with sleeping with a hotel pillow on a trip as opposed to the comfortable one at home. Once you become a parent you appreciate quiet time whenever it arrives, because it no longer exists in the same capacity prior to having kids.
I also don’t think i ever learned how to really appreciate things growing up. I think that stems from when things are just given to you it becomes the norm and you don’t know what life is like without it. I also think that with my addiction it always takes and expects.
I think that is my best answer to my questions. If I want to appreciate what i’ve been given then imagine life without them. I’ve been gifted children. I’ve been lucky enough to experience a solo trip by myself for a week(mostly stress-free), and while it is nice to have all that time to myself, its all empty calories. I could watch all the sports, go to all the restaurants, play all the games that i wanted. Yet after day 2 things felt empty. I appreciated what i didn’t have. My kids.
Now thinking about that in the moment at the airport trying to get through security with a crying 2 year old is a different story. but some people can do it. They can take a step back and realize in the moment, that this struggle will pass and i’m thankful that i have my kids. But thats hard to do in the moment the way that i am wired.
Thankfully now that I am living out of the addiction, I have to ability to see things a little more clearly and i can actually appreciate what God has provided for me in this life. It sounds crazy to say but i tend to appreciate a little more when he takes away from me, and then i get it back later.
As a reminder to myself, anytime that i am feeling ungrateful for what God has provided for me in life, I need to think about what life would be like without those gifts, and that normally brings up some feelings of Gratitude.
God bless!